I used to think of hope as a value – somehow the fact that hope had remained in Pandora’s box when everything flew off made me assign a special status as the personification of something almost mystical.
Lately, I have shifted in that belief – I think hope like happiness is a choice.
I believe that in any given moment we can choose glass half-empty or half-full mindsets – so we can choose to see the possibility of hope for something different in any situation.
I know some people who inspired hope in others in the darkest days – not in a sugary sweet way but grounded in gritty reality.
And lastly – hope means action. With hope comes the responsibility to act to change things for ourselves and others.
Maybe I’m wrong but I’m hoping to stay choosing hope over the alternative.
I’ve finished the book I set myself as a goal for the last half of 2012 – and it has been a strange experience. The book I thought I was going to write was not what come about. Instead I ended up sharing my passion for spreading the word about the beauty of ‘imperfection’ and applying it to the role of parents.
It is not a book on how to parent – if anything it is about how to celebrate how good you are already and to take great care of yourself alongside your children.
Then to-day I came across this quote in Gretchen Rubin’s blog:
No human face is exactly the same in its lines on each side, no leaf perfect in its lobes, no branch in its symmetry. All admit irregularity as they imply change; and to banish imperfection is to destroy expression, to check exertion, to paralyze vitality. All things are literally better, lovelier, and more beloved for the imperfections which have been divinely appointed, that the law of human life may be Effort, and the law of human judgement, Mercy.”
To-day is a major US holiday. Although the history behind Thanksgiving may not all stand up to scrutiny there is something about a nation stopping to say thanks for what they have which is interesting.
So much of our time is spent thinking about what we haven’t got enough of – scarcity, lack, the gaps, comparing ourselves to others who are ‘better off’ or ‘luckier’ than us. This seem to be so absorbing and important and can drive us to depression and for some despair.
What if we looked at it from another point of view? In the UK we have so much that we take for granted. In the global village we are in the top tier.
We have clean water and sanitation. Our girls can go to school safely. For all it’s faults we have a health care system and so many people give money and time generously to help others even in a recession.
Why not make a part of every day about gratitude for what you have – the tangible and the intangible. Food and freedom are part of that and I, for one, will acknowledge that I have more than most and am grateful for it all!
So Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in America and everywhere else enjoy what you have and allow yourself to focus on gratitude not gaps.
I am loving the Olympics and especially love seeing the joy and commitment from those who will never win a medal and yet they bring such energy and commitment.
In our society we sometimes concentrate on competition and winning rather than reflecting on the pleasure from taking part and doing our very best. What would the Olympics be like if the only people who showed up were those who knew they’d get a medal.
What about the 15 year old Lithuanian swimmer? Her disbelief was evident and so endearing. And the young athletes who lit the flame in the stadium and all the volunteers just seem more in touch with the vision than the hype in the media.
So what do think is important about The Olympics – is it winning or about being able to take part in your sport alongside champions?
My last blog post was about enjoying the sun – and guess what ever since it has tipped it down!
I feel I have to therefore accept responsibility for the weather, ruining half term and possibly ruining the health of thousands of people who attended the Royal Jubilee celebrations. Just kidding!
To be fair, it is a tendency I have noticed in myself to take responsibility for things that actually I cannot control and yet I feel it is up to me to sort them out.
I came across a model a while back that helped me shift this hugely- it’s called The Drama Triangle and explains we each can play a ‘role’ in certain situations with others which pushes them into playing ‘roles’ so the game works.
In the Drama Triangle we could play Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor and, weirdly, we can seek out others to play with us!
I was the classic rescuer which as a coach was not useful – firstly it implies my client needs rescued and also lets an individual stay stuck in a ‘poor me’ story.
So now when I feel myself jump into little miss ‘fixit’ thinking I step back and stay neutral – and its getting easier each time because I believe we are all creative, resourceful and whole so no need to fix or rescue anyone for me!